who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Your penis caused this!
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