he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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