Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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