he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
two words: eviction party
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
