I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
