how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
