I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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