So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I will die if light touches me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
