I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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