Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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