how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
