I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
