People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm too high and old for this...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
