mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
