i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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