her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
