Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
