Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
