i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
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