Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
honey bunches of taint.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
