I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
