after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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