I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
