There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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