can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
