Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
