Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Congratulations! We have a period
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