Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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