He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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