The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
