how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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