i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
