Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
