Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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