can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
