i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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