evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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