dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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