he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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