yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
