Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
