Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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