I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
