I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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