"it" just moved
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
