Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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