And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
