I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dick very happy bro
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
