We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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