Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
